I am thankful for
Bryon
My loving family
Modern Medicine
My Doctors
Music
Corn with real butter
Feeling a little better everyday
The beautiful state of Utah
World Tour app that shows me the world
My drugs
Quality tv like Survivor
Good friends
Those who have morally and financially supported me the last 4 months
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
It's Out
I got my PICC line removed yesterday. I was so worried I would have to keep it in for another week! When Dr. T. said it could come out I started crying with happiness and relief. I was a little scared for the removal because when they put it in it was quite a procedure, the line goes all the way to the heart area. The nurse came in and I tried to get Bryon to hold my hand but he was on the other side of the room, the nurse assured me it wouldn't hurt, and by the time Bryon got to me it was out and I didn't feel a thing! Bryon said it was pretty nasty looking coming out, the nurse kept pulling and pulling.
I thought I would feel better immediately but alas I still feel terrible. I guzzled Gatorade and paid the prize yesterday and today, you would think I would learn. (Gatorade smells like a Popsicle coming up, ask my Mom) So the complaning will continue! Ha. I have hope I will feel better by Monday maybe sooner but knowing my recovery it will be a week, until then if you need me I will be in the bathroom with my head in the toilet.
Holly
I thought I would feel better immediately but alas I still feel terrible. I guzzled Gatorade and paid the prize yesterday and today, you would think I would learn. (Gatorade smells like a Popsicle coming up, ask my Mom) So the complaning will continue! Ha. I have hope I will feel better by Monday maybe sooner but knowing my recovery it will be a week, until then if you need me I will be in the bathroom with my head in the toilet.
Holly
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I have run out of patience. I am sick of being sick. I want this picc line out of my arm. I hate changing my iv bag everyday. I am sick of the taste of saline solution, and I am tired of Mt. Dew not tasting the way it is supposed to. If I have to go to IMC one for time it will be to soon, to soon is 11/3 when I have a CT scan and an appointment with my neurosurgeon. Luckily there are a few things in my life to live for, Bryon, Mom, Dad, the brothers, the chance of being able to stop antibiotics on 11/5, eating my first party pizza since Sept. reconnecting with old friends Chelsey and Angela, Top Chef, and the dream that my hair will grow back in.
xoHolly
xoHolly
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I love Birthdays and Donations
Yesterday was my Birthday. I turned 27. I wanted to skip this year, but my mom and Bryon made it a good day. I feel so sick since I got out of the hospital, I am on an IV antibiotic that is to blame, it makes almost everything smell bad and taste even worse. I am surviving this week on bananas and cherry seven up last week it was mt. dew and bananas. Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and the donations. They are helping so much.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
He sensed worry could be strength
Holly broke out of the hospital on Thursday around 3:30 PM. As the driver, I was her lone accomplice. We had a decent, sleep-deprived weekend in West Point. We switched out her antibiotic that's being pumped into her veins 24/7 via a portable IV kept in a fanny pack and accompanying her everywhere she goes. The meds keep her feeling nauseous all the time with other undesireable side-effects. Only about 30 days left of that and she can be IV-free.
As I'm sure you know she's been unable to work for the past couple of months and counting. On top of that her meds are quite an expense. Last I counted she was taking seven different prescriptions, not including the constant antibiotics. And they're not cheap. We very much appreciate all who have helped out in this very difficult time. And while it's not fun to ask for more help and certainly not something I look forward to doing, it seems necessary today.
If anyone can throw us a bone and help us pay for some of Holly's medications and other expenses now would be a really, really, REALLY great time to do so.
So thanks again to all who have supported us through this and Holly should be posting again very soon.
Friday, October 2, 2009
I'm Out
Miles is taking care of me and I am drinking mt. dew and eating toast. Post to come later when I get the strength. Thank You everyone for your concern and love, hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here. If not well I can't promise I won't go crazy.
xoHolly
xoHolly
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Just Breathe
Quick update because I need sleep like you wouldn't believe.
The day following Holly's last post she got very sick. High fever, vomiting, headache. We went to the ER, left at 4am on Saturday morning only to return at 7am Sunday when incoherence was added to her already terrible list of symptoms. Since then she's been in the Respiratory ICU fighting an unknown infection. Her biggest struggle has been her high oxygen requirements. She forgets to breathe sometimes and for a while there we could probably play a Ramones song to the fast beeping of her machines.
Yesterday she had surgery again. They cut her head open, drained some fluid and cleaned the flap (piece of skull removed for surgery) and wound very well. Tests on the fluid came back today negative for infection.
She's been feeling a little better after five long days in ICU. Oxygen requirements have decreased. They are trying to get her into a regular room but there is no room in the inn. Too many sickos I guess.
I'm just happy to see her feeling better. It was so heartbreaking to see her so sick. Hopefully she'll be back to blogging soon. If anyone gets bored while waiting you can listen to Holly's new favorite song HERE. You should really do that even if you're not bored.
The day following Holly's last post she got very sick. High fever, vomiting, headache. We went to the ER, left at 4am on Saturday morning only to return at 7am Sunday when incoherence was added to her already terrible list of symptoms. Since then she's been in the Respiratory ICU fighting an unknown infection. Her biggest struggle has been her high oxygen requirements. She forgets to breathe sometimes and for a while there we could probably play a Ramones song to the fast beeping of her machines.
Yesterday she had surgery again. They cut her head open, drained some fluid and cleaned the flap (piece of skull removed for surgery) and wound very well. Tests on the fluid came back today negative for infection.
She's been feeling a little better after five long days in ICU. Oxygen requirements have decreased. They are trying to get her into a regular room but there is no room in the inn. Too many sickos I guess.
I'm just happy to see her feeling better. It was so heartbreaking to see her so sick. Hopefully she'll be back to blogging soon. If anyone gets bored while waiting you can listen to Holly's new favorite song HERE. You should really do that even if you're not bored.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Needle and the Damage Done
Hello Dear Readers
I am a little behind on my blog it's hard to keep up when your face has grown to the size of well it's like a balloon clown face, it's not pretty I can't even open my mouth all the way and my cheeks are so big my eyes are all squinty. I got a really cute scarf online at Old Navy and I wrap it around my head and cover my face and hide in my house, It's not so bad.
Please wish with me it goes away before I know I have to leave the house....Sept. 28 Pearl Jam at the E-Center plus the Wishlist Foundation Party Raffle that Bryon is throwing at The Puck before the show, this is big people all the money is being donated to amazing causes and there will be signed Pearl Jam stuff along with other items and it's a party. Yesterday in the mail we got a package from Pearl Jam with posters and stickers it was like Christmas. I love this band. Come to the Party, Come to the show!
On to the next topic. My Dr visit and the reason for the needle and the damage done. The Dr stuck a needle into the top of my head, beforehand he told Bryon to sit down because well I guess he thought he might faint. I'm not sure, so he has this huge needle and he sticks it in my head and starts pulling out liquid from my head, we had looked at my MRI films before this and I looked like a cone head seriously it was very disturbing, he ended up pulling 20ml of fluid from my head. The liquid was a golden color and smelled quite bad. He sent it to the lab and put a band aid on my head. He is going to call tomorrow to tell me if it is something we need to worry about. I am worried because my head is soft on top which means it is filling with more liquid that will need to be taken out with a needle that goes into my head and well people it hurt. Oh and he said all of my side effects (sweating,crazy,emotional,fat face,hurt knees) will all go away when I go off steroids this week, I am skeptical, nothing about this has been easy so I am not getting my hopes up!
So now you are updated, Holly
I am a little behind on my blog it's hard to keep up when your face has grown to the size of well it's like a balloon clown face, it's not pretty I can't even open my mouth all the way and my cheeks are so big my eyes are all squinty. I got a really cute scarf online at Old Navy and I wrap it around my head and cover my face and hide in my house, It's not so bad.
Please wish with me it goes away before I know I have to leave the house....Sept. 28 Pearl Jam at the E-Center plus the Wishlist Foundation Party Raffle that Bryon is throwing at The Puck before the show, this is big people all the money is being donated to amazing causes and there will be signed Pearl Jam stuff along with other items and it's a party. Yesterday in the mail we got a package from Pearl Jam with posters and stickers it was like Christmas. I love this band. Come to the Party, Come to the show!
On to the next topic. My Dr visit and the reason for the needle and the damage done. The Dr stuck a needle into the top of my head, beforehand he told Bryon to sit down because well I guess he thought he might faint. I'm not sure, so he has this huge needle and he sticks it in my head and starts pulling out liquid from my head, we had looked at my MRI films before this and I looked like a cone head seriously it was very disturbing, he ended up pulling 20ml of fluid from my head. The liquid was a golden color and smelled quite bad. He sent it to the lab and put a band aid on my head. He is going to call tomorrow to tell me if it is something we need to worry about. I am worried because my head is soft on top which means it is filling with more liquid that will need to be taken out with a needle that goes into my head and well people it hurt. Oh and he said all of my side effects (sweating,crazy,emotional,fat face,hurt knees) will all go away when I go off steroids this week, I am skeptical, nothing about this has been easy so I am not getting my hopes up!
So now you are updated, Holly
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Where The Wild Thing Are
And it was still Hot....
I love that line. It is the last line of one of my most favorite books ever written, Where the Wild Things Are. This book was read to me countless times as a child. Me and my brothers loved it and when other books were read to us the line And it was still Hot was always added at the end. As I grew older and began babysitting and being a nanny I did the same, the book ended and It Was Still Hot.
I had my MRI Monday and of course me being claustrophobic was dreading it, but my Dr had planned an IV with a lovely cocktail of drugs so it would be better. I got there way early, I sat in the waiting room and It was still Hot was all I could think of plus being in a coffin. I honestly have never sweated so much in my life, my hair was drenched, people were staring. I finally got called back and the real fun began, the IV poke plus drugs, the wet wash clothes they just put over my face, the nurse who commented on my Moon Face and said "It must be so hard to look in the mirror" (ouch) and then into the MRI machine which is totally a freezer I can't believe I am going to say it but it felt good in there, the nurse who said I was ugly massaged my feet for 40 min. and then I was OUT!
It felt like I had been there all day but when I got home it was 3pm. The first thing I did was take my meds because I hadn't taken them yet then I called my dad. I told him about the experience and how I thought of And It Was Still Hot and right there on the phone he told me the story of Where the Wild Things Are, it was just how I remembered it but with little sprinkles of Brad added in because he was telling it from memory, Max still sailed to the land of Wild Things, they roared their terrible roars, and gnashed their terrible teeth and there was a wild rumpus of course. It was a needed break from my life. I felt good after that until 10 pm. Then I broke. I won't give you much details just say that I cried like a child who had been read a lovely story at 3pm but decided to cry from 10 to 11pm till was given a Xanax and sent to bed.
So the moral of the story is I am a child, I love stories and sometimes I cry a lot and need to be sent to bed. Oh and I sweat alot.
I love that line. It is the last line of one of my most favorite books ever written, Where the Wild Things Are. This book was read to me countless times as a child. Me and my brothers loved it and when other books were read to us the line And it was still Hot was always added at the end. As I grew older and began babysitting and being a nanny I did the same, the book ended and It Was Still Hot.
I had my MRI Monday and of course me being claustrophobic was dreading it, but my Dr had planned an IV with a lovely cocktail of drugs so it would be better. I got there way early, I sat in the waiting room and It was still Hot was all I could think of plus being in a coffin. I honestly have never sweated so much in my life, my hair was drenched, people were staring. I finally got called back and the real fun began, the IV poke plus drugs, the wet wash clothes they just put over my face, the nurse who commented on my Moon Face and said "It must be so hard to look in the mirror" (ouch) and then into the MRI machine which is totally a freezer I can't believe I am going to say it but it felt good in there, the nurse who said I was ugly massaged my feet for 40 min. and then I was OUT!
It felt like I had been there all day but when I got home it was 3pm. The first thing I did was take my meds because I hadn't taken them yet then I called my dad. I told him about the experience and how I thought of And It Was Still Hot and right there on the phone he told me the story of Where the Wild Things Are, it was just how I remembered it but with little sprinkles of Brad added in because he was telling it from memory, Max still sailed to the land of Wild Things, they roared their terrible roars, and gnashed their terrible teeth and there was a wild rumpus of course. It was a needed break from my life. I felt good after that until 10 pm. Then I broke. I won't give you much details just say that I cried like a child who had been read a lovely story at 3pm but decided to cry from 10 to 11pm till was given a Xanax and sent to bed.
So the moral of the story is I am a child, I love stories and sometimes I cry a lot and need to be sent to bed. Oh and I sweat alot.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Don't stop me now
In case anyone was wondering......I am done, I give up, Can't do it anymore, have to give up and don't care. Today was the worst day of my life NOT EXAGGERATING. So for today and all night I am done. Hopefully tomorrow will be better blah blah blah. It probably won't but maybe I will hopefully not hate the world or my life as much as I do in this moment. Good Night
This Song May Help..............Queen Don't Stop Me Now..............Listen and let me know
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